Whilst walking round the Forbidden City a couple of weeks ago it was noticeable that many Chinese tourists were quite happy to see foreigners walking round China’s most important museum. Strangely, a few foreigners were quite the opposite.
Foreign and domestic tour groups were pretty much oblivious to everything and everyone around them, except for the flag waving guides and their belt-mounted tiny megaphones. Exploring families often nodded or grinned, perhaps glad to see a recognisable face.
The worst were long-term backpackers (usually wandering round in baggy pants trying to ‘find themselves’, and being upset when they find everyone else instead) giving other tourists the Laowai death stare.
When I see the stare, I sometimes think of this statue
I’ve experienced it in remote corners of the country, where people seem to think they’re the first and only white person ever to visit China. If you’re fully immersed in the local environment I can partially understand why you’d be unhappy to see a random chap wandering round ‘your’ town. I don’t understand why you’d be surprised and upset to see other foreigners in amongst the 80,000 or so people wandering round the Forbidden City.
To be fair, it’s not just a China thing. I’ve had similar “what are you doing here” glares when happening upon people whilst hiking in the depths of a jungle in Belize or buying a cuckoo clock in a supermarket in Zimbabwe (and in the latter case I did ask myself the same question) but it’s odd that people can still think they’re Indiana Jones or Marco Polo discovering some strange new world.
Whilst I can understand not wanting to make friends with everyone you meet just because you happen to be a foreigner in the same country, I’m not sure why some consider it necessary to take such angry exception to intruders in their little worlds.
For my part, I don’t exactly greet everyone with a we’re-going-to-best-friends-forever smile and hug, but I don’t do that in the UK either. It wouldn’t end well.
Let's be friends...
If they’re a foreigner wandering round town like they think they’re a celebrity because they’re getting constant attention in China (and there’s quite a few of these) I tend to look the other way. For other people, if there is eye contact I’ll go with a nod or a faint smile, and that’s enough to satisfy the British need for politeness to strangers without causing interruption. This is usually reciprocated, or utterly blanked. If they want to take it further and start a conversation, I really don’t mind. I’ve never felt the need to throw a Laowai death stare. I just don’t see the point…I might meet them again.
This even occurs in my apartment complex. After a year of being the only non-Asian (there’s a lovely Vietnamese chap) and getting constant stares and glances from the Chinese (presumably thinking ‘there goes the neighbourhood’) it’s quite obvious when a newly arrived foreigner walks round the corner and immediately gives the glare, then goes off to live under the continued pretence that they’ve discovered an authentic and isolated part of China in the centre of Beijing.
Let's not be friends...
Perhaps it’s me. I’ve repeatedly heard that there are only three types of foreigner in China: business types+their families, teachers+students and weirdos. Worryingly I’m not a business type, a teacher or a student.
As a result of not spending any time in an office or school, many of the non-tourists I see wandering round in the middle of the day also fall into the third category and I’d be unlikely to associate with them anywhere else either. Which is probably what they’re thinking as well.
I’m not sure which is worse really – people wandering round foreign countries, taking an instant and irrational dislike to each other, or people in London, where everyone does their best to utterly ignore everyone else around them.
Was just talking about this topic recently with some mates..I get it all the time when walking down the street in Shanghai, and very rarely get a nod or a smile. I guess its not exactly that they “think they’re the first and only white person ever to visit China” in this specific case, but they don’t like their experience being tarnished by too many other foreigners. Similar ideas, I guess.
In a bar where there are tonnes of foreigners, you don’t get these stares, but certainly on the street.
good article
True – I think in the cities, people are just keeping to themselves, but when out in the countryside the angry or disappointed looks of the foreigners sometimes just contrasts so much with the welcoming nature of the Chinese.
Pingback: Sarah 'Shaz' Heintze (@Selly06)
Pingback: Martijn Herrman (@MartijnHerrman)
This is something we talked about in Japan and it happens here in Korea too. People have all sorts of theories, most are similar in some way to yours.
I do notice that if a foreigner grins and says hello the chances are they’re real new. It’s refreshing. The best exchanges though are those where you share a smile and a look that goes beyond words. Kind of like ‘hehe, we’re both in this strange old world and surviving’.
True, it’s often those moments when I’m getting shoved out the way by a group of elderly ladies desperate to be first in the lift, or passing a shouting match in the street that I catch someone’s eye and we don’t need to say anything.
Pingback: Val Hamer (@Farawayhammer)
I know it by a different name, but the death stare was something I encountered (and ignored) pretty often when I was in South Korea.
I loved this “wandering round in baggy pants trying to ‘find themselves’, and being upset when they find everyone else instead” — there are so many folks like that. Not sure what they’re expecting exactly…
I’d like to think I travel to enjoy myself, and hopefully learn about the world along the way, but a number of people I meet seem to be in search of something more profound.
It was worst in India I think. People on a two week trip to Rajasthan coming away having ‘really opened my eyes to the world’ or ‘woken me up’, then go back home wearing a woven hat for a few days until it’s all forgotten.
Haha, I know EXACTLY what you mean!! I was at the Forbidden City in the summer and had to pose with numerous people for photos as they demanded it from me.. I was on holiday then, so it seemed funny.. But now I am living here in Beijing – it kinda freaks me out. I was at the Summer Palace just last week with a friend and people, on more than one occasion were poking us just so we’d turn round and then *FLASH* there’d be a photo snapped and a happy Chinese tourist fleeing the scene. Freaky to say the least. I have never experienced it in any other country… But, I still love China!
They’re happy enough to pose with you, but try asking if you can take one with your camera and they start running.
Subscribed to your YouTube channel – looking forward to more videos!
I don’t know about being the “first and only” to discover something, but I have moved away from Americans in restaurants because I didn’t want to hear the loud, ignorant observations about the local culture. I’m not perfect, and am definitely aware of gaps in my knowledge and education, but I try to gain some understanding. Maybe some of the death stare folks have had bad experiences with other foreigners. *shrug*
I know what you mean – thankfully Beijing is big enough that we rarely come across tourists any more, but there are a few expats who seem to despise living here, yet hate it even more that any other foreigners also live here.
Guys, have you ever noticed how locals (in your home country) gape at Chinese, Asians too?? They might stare not that long, instead it might be a sneer, a remark or facial contortion. Cross-cultural behaviors are becoming visible when you travel, but look in the mirror when at home ‘the stare’ although differently occurs the same and not exclusively in China.
Hi,
The post is predominantly about tourists being unfriendly towards other tourists – it just happens to be set in China, but is applicable in many destinations.
I agree that people look or glance at other people all over the world, especially if out of place, and that’s understandable, but in all my travels I’ve found that China is the most overt, sustained and impassive.
Thanks for your sharing your thoughts, but the observations here are predominantly through “western”eyes. Cultural diversity brings forth different attitudes, in comparison you will not read often Asian thoughts about how they “feel” being looked at in general. What I want to point out is that a conversation topic as general observation is slowly but adamantly being changed into a set behavior in China as you emphasized in your reply.
Oh FFS…
This article is by a *Westerner* about how some *Westerners* look at other *Westerners*; of course they’re looking at each other through *Western* eyes, genius.
Even though the article is in no way critical of China or the Chinese, some wumaodang still feels the need to chip in with “what about-ery” re The Flaws of the West™.
Pingback: The Explorateur (@theexplorateur)
I stood next to one at a party the other night in Beijing and a some overweight brit “woman” was harassing the DJ to play Abba even though he’d just played some, her language was filthy and she made a real scene while this foreign guy tried to keep everyone happy. it goes far further than a laowai death stare with some people once they get a chance, some expats clearly need to check their manners and mouth.
It’s the same all over the world unfortunately
Pingback: Vadå laowai? - MotKina.se