High Heels to Ganja – It’s fun flying in Azerbaijan

Flying Azerbaijan Air to Nakhchivan

Baku is also known as the land of the high heels as all the women wear them, even those on their feet all day like air stewardesses and retail staff.

I was sat in the front row of economy, so had a good view of the attendant giving the safety briefing, as she towered above us in her high heels. Behind her lay the near empty business class section at the front of the plane.

A useless snap of the medical team at work

Once we taxied out the runway a passenger in business was taken ill. We knew this as she stood up and clasped a rather melodramatic arm to her brow. The pilot was called and a long wait ensued for the standby airport doctor. She eventually arrived in a sparkling evening dress and matching high heels, despite it being early afternoon.

The ill passenger wanted medical attention but refused to leave the plane so we had a long wait whilst the ground crew patiently dealt with her. By ‘patiently dealt with’ I mean they kept pointing at their watches then pointing out the door.

Throughout this there was an annoying kid to my left who seemed to get no discipline from the adjacent parent. It was a cycle of scream, gets own way, jump up and down on the seat, scream, gets own way.

To my right, and sitting next to me was a child of about the same age, with impeccable manners and intently reading a book. The elegant lady next to him, presumably his mother, spoke decent English, so helped translate the doctor’s diagnosis.

“Do you know what is wrong with her?” I queried.

“She is very full of shit.”

“You mean she’s got constipation?”

“No, she’s just a lying full-of-shit attention seeker.”

Her son looked up from his book and nodded sagely.

The imposing entrance to Naxcivan Airport

VIP treatment at Nakhcivan airport

We were bussed over to Naxcivan airport for a very short flight to Gyandzha, pronounced Ganja. The Vice Minister for Tourism in the region was accompanying us on the bus so we were waived past any security checks and sent straight upstairs to the bar, where they’d prepared a lunch.

The food was fresh and wonderful as always, but by now it was time for the flight to leave. Not heeding our protestations, the Minister bustled off towards the air-traffic control tower to delay the plane. We all sat there, feeling bad for the passengers already on board the commercial flight.

“Do you want to see passports?” “No need, it’s still tea time. “

“Surely we’re delaying everyone else?” “Don’t worry, the kebabs are nearly cooked. “

“They must have been sat on the runway for an hour?” “What sort of baklava would you prefer?”

Finally we’d eaten everything we’ve been given and were allowed to leave. We started to walk towards the gate but were instead ushered onto a bus and driven the 30m to the VIP building. Not just a VIP lounge, but an entire building full of comfy chairs, bowls of sweets and the most attractive attendants the airport has in their employ.

After another glass of tea the bus reappeared to drive us the next 30m across the tarmac to our idling plane. We board to find the rest of the passengers waiting for us, looking understandably unimpressed.

I get glared at by a group of angry young men. They start muttering something that probably wasn’t complementary, but are wearing t-shirts suggesting they’re the Azerbaijan wrestling team, so I guess it’s wiser to ignore them.

It’s only a 55 minute flight, but it’s across Armenian occupied territory.

Nakhchivan Autonomous Republic is a landlocked exclave of the Republic of Azerbaijan. It covers 5,500 sq km and borders Armenia to the east and north, Iran to the south and west, and Turkey to the northwest. Armenia has occupied the strip of land between Nakhchivan and the rest of Azerbaijan since the Soviet era.

Having learnt just this I spend the flight wondering what would happen in the event of an unexpected landing, especially when our guide still has our passports.

Despite my concerns we make it safely to Ganja and relax our worries away in the Chinar Hotel and it’s odd oil spas

This trip was arranged by the Azerbaijan Tourist Board, as part of the United Nations World Tourism Organisation Silk Road Conference.

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