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Hoi An isn’t just an anagram of Hanoi – Hoi An, Vietnam

Mekong River

Mekong River

Suicidally set off on a rented bike ride through the busy streets of Hanoi and dodged enough completely unregulated traffic to reach the dirt back streets. We eventually found the Coliseum where elephants and tigers used to be made to fight to the death, but which was now inhabited solely by chickens. We tried to start a fight, but they were, well…chicken.

At the top of a steep and sweaty hill we found a great viewpoint over the whole area, especially the river, which was the site of a network of American bunkers and a bored looking cow.

Drew up at the last place on our now painful bike. Nancy pulled to a halt and fell off the bike; Nicky jumped out the way and dropped her bags and bottles. Everything clattered to the ground and the staff came running to check everything was ok. “We’ve arrived!”.

At the last mausoleum it finally started to rain in short sharp showers so we had fun hopping from shelter to shelter but in the end gave up and had tea and biscuits under an enormously noisy corrugated steel roof.

Quick lunch and we set off to get to Hoi An. Due to the heavy rain the Hai Van mountain pass was closed and we were redirected through a 7km tunnel which shaved an hour off the journey and led us through Da Nang. (Later found out that the pass was a major highlight, due to being rather pretty)

After a minor crash on a level crossing we got to China Beach, the main R&R location for American servicemen during the war, where the old jet aircraft hangers can still be seen albeit somewhat overgrown these days. One of the Americans queried why the US no longer had a presence in Vietnam…

Finally arriving at the hotel we got a much needed shower after the mornings exertions, leaving the bathroom looking a complete disaster zone.

Straight away went for an excellent meal down a little back alley where the ladies showed us how to make rolls from a combination of pork or beef skewers, 3 types of salad and either rice paper or rice omelettes. Then they force fed them to us, pushing their fingers into our mouths and pouring beer down our necks. I was happy, but a few of the others looked a bit put out.

Just round the corner was the main street of Hoi An, an olde worlde looking row of tailors and bars. We weren’t fortunate enough to be there during the full moon, but apparently they turn all the street lights off and rely on paper lanterns, which must look great.

Whilst in what appeared to be TailorVille we dropped into a large shop where the girls set to work ordering a variety of suits and dresses. It was a bargain really – less than £100 for a hand made English Wool suit, but I felt it was a bit like being at work, buying suits and shirts, so waited in the bar opposite. Found out later that I could have had some shoes or trainers hand made which I would have loved, but didn’t see it on offer.

That took hours but eventually got to a bar and ended up playing table football until the early hours.

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